You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
