Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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