You smell like stripper and shame
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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