A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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