I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
