If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
