She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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