well I can't set my house on fire every night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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