CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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