considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my shit smells like andre
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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