So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?