i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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