she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You are the jesus of drinking
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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