I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.