The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
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he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience