I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
