I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
