I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
3 2 1 whiskey
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
