wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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