You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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