so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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