Can Purell be used as lube?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
