Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize