the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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