If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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