Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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