it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize