dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
