Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
