We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
