TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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