I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
