I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
