I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
