her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize