woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
