Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
