I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
