Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
