Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize