I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
