I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think my moral compass just broke
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
