About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
