They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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