He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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