I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they need to just BURY HIM!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
