i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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