Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
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Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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