My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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