oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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