I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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