if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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