What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
