I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
