i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
