I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
