Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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