New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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