Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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