It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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