I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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