neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
